Red Bitcoin Markets, Dropped Luna Coins, Lost UST Pegs, and 20 Crypto Jokes

Soo, aah, how about this week, eh? The market was down, a bit up, then down… As Kraken found that Bitcoin on-chain metrics remained the strongest among its peers, bitcoin crashed to its lowest level since last summer, ethereum and altcoins fell too, and the broader crypto market went into a sharp selloff, while the Luna Foundation decided to loan out USD 750m worth of BTC to a trading firm “to help protect the UST peg”, and then the markets took another dive while the US inflation surpassed expectations, but conspiracy theories about UST’s loss of peg were floating around, to which Citadel Securities and BlackRock said ‘not us’, and then Terra’s Do Kwon floated ideas about how to save UST as LUNA’s collapse continued and UST went lower despite rescue plans. As the market crashed, the tether peg was put under pressure too, the sale of blue-chip NFTs took a plunge too, but Azuki NFT sales skyrocketed after a founder’s blog post sent the collection’s floor price down by 45%. As all of this was happening, Bitcoin mining difficulty hit another high and profitability dropped.

Ukraine’s new fundraising platform supports over 100 cryptos, while a Belgian museum tokenized a million-euro masterpiece to allow its fractional ownership, AMC expanded on its crypto and NFT plans, and Brazil’s biggest neobank made a BTC investment, saying it will let customers buy BTC and ETH. Meanwhile, Binance was reportedly forced to halt all crypto derivatives trading in Spain at a regulator’s request, Coinbase reported a slow first quarter and said it expects the second one to be even slower, and a new Coinbase disclosure reminded crypto owners: “not your keys, not your money”. And as Fortress suffered an oracle price manipulation attack and lost all of its funds, the UK police warned that thieves are targeting crypto traders in “a wave of crypto muggings”.

The Japanese Prime Minister said that Web3-related growth, including metaverse NFTs, will be part of the nation’s growth strategy, and South Korea’s judiciary is set to include crypto holdings in lists of debtors’ assets in bankruptcy cases. While Chinese banks decided to launch automatic digital yuan-to-fiat conversion tools, an IMF report said that the Sand Dollar has the potential to “foster financial inclusion and payment system resilience” in the Bahamas. Then, Vladimir Putin spoke of plans to revamp Russia’s international settlements ecosystem in the face of Western-led sanctions, Nayib Bukele showcased the Bitcoin City plans and said the government ‘bought the BTC dip’, and Garry Gensler argued that crypto exchanges ‘commingling’ activities could endanger clients’ assets.

Also, Tether went under pressure and Coinbase was sued over a collapsed stablecoin. Meanwhile, Diem co-creator shifted his focus to Bitcoin and Mr. Musk put his Twitter deal on hold.

Let’s check out some jokes now.

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Heeey, CT! Whacha doin’?

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Source: cryptodogmemes / Instagram

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You’ve got paper? Well, aren’t you fancy!

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If you’ve just arrived, here’s a short video for you to catch up. Down, sorry, catch down.

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Also if you’re new – welcome.

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Let’s check on the traders.

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Source: notyourmamascoin / Instagram

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….. 🤭

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Oopsie.

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‘Always ;)’

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Source: altcoin.updates / Instagram

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There you go, problem solved.

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So. Pain.

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That damn dippity dip!

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Source: crypto_holly / Instagram

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Goddamnit!!

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Got to go with the flow (all puns intended).

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Source: mrwolf5428 / Instagram

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Yes.

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Also yes.

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Providing a helping hand.

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BTC 1 = BTC 1

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As for the previous statement, we’ll let these experts explain.

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No reason to panic, people. It’s only doomsday, sheesh.

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And a song for the end. Because you deserve it.

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